Monday, December 24, 2007

Waitress Stories/Tonight's TOD

OK, folks. Gather around the fire. Momma is gonna tell ya a waitress tale. So, tonight's story is about my poor co-worker who fell and hurt herself this evening-and how my fellow humans either rose or sunk in my eyes after their response to this event this evening.
I was the manager this evening-I do it part time. One of my servers fell after she slipped on something wet that was on the floor. She fell hard and hurt herself. She did this in the beginning of the very busy time of the night with a full section of tables. I was short staffed as usual, as my company is cheap and likes to make me want to pull my hair out. (Most of the time, I wonder to myself "is tonight going to be the night I walk out?") I should have had at least 2 more people on for the amount of business we had, and that is PRIOR to losing this server. I also (as mentioned previously) am sick, and since we are short staffed on managers and since my boss is out of town and my other boss TURNED HIS CELL PHONE OFF to not be bothered, I had to go in to work. I also started my period today. Not a good thing to the gentlemen in the audience. I am running on empty: tired, in pain, and really crabby.
OK, so I had to take care of this server's section and also her medical needs and my company's protocol ALL AT ONCE. Let's just say people had to wait a long time for service. Once I could get to her tables, I had to explain to the guests what happened. Some were SO wonderful. "No problem!" one said, "Don't even worry about it!" another said. Some were mediocre "oh, well now that you mentioned that...." Some were just moronic. Tonight's story is about one of them. They are the most fun, no?
So, since my previous post was about this impending doom of a holiday that I am forced to deal with, let's just say that everyone around this time of the year pretends to be a good person and treats others the way they OUGHT to year round. So, I was very shocked when I told people of the poor waitress who was in the back of the restaurant curled up in a ball of pain on the phone with the "Dial a Nurse" that corporate America now forces us to call prior to going to the Dr. or anything else.
Tonight's TOD (Table of Doom):
I had a table with several children and adults, and one VERY VERY OBESE woman. She was busy killing herself right in front of her young children with cream, cheese, and every other horrifying thing she could suck into her mouth. Extra sauce on this, extra sauce on that. I was actually poisoning someone in front of her children. It was sickening.
So, this table had been waiting for some things. Their server was maxed out on tables due to us being 3 people short of what we needed. However, these were the type of people that had the balls to speak to me- in my manager's outfit- with nothing but respect and kindness and then yelled at my server with contempt and hatred. The minute I walked away to get something and heard the way they spoke to the server-my attitude changed IMMEDIATELY about this table. FUCK THEM. That is what went through my head.
My poor server said "I don't want to deal with them anymore." I said, "I understand; I've got them." It was ugly. No matter how much ass I kissed, they simply weren't happy. I even took some items off of the check for their trouble, but they still screwed the server out of a decent tip.
These people actually had the balls to relocate 3 times before they decided on an appropriate table. THEY MADE A TABLE OF PEOPLE MOVE BECAUSE THIS WOMAN WAS SO LARGE SHE COULDN'T SIT JUST ANYWHERE.
So, to the table of 3 women and their 3 children: coffee is not that big of a deal when you think about someone's elbow swelling up in the back of the restaurant. And if you ask me for extra sauce again-I will tell you what your family doesn't have the balls to: NO. Stop killing yourself and making your children (toddlers, no less) early orphans.
So, that was the Cliff's Notes version as I feel like shit and need to go to bed. But, it was a TOD fo' sho'. For those wondering about my server who fell: she went home early. She is someone who is a tough cookie, and should have gone to the hospital-on a stretcher. She won't even go to a Dr. I am sure.

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